Procrastinating because I can't bear to move on and leave everything behind.

Back to blogging after so long.

Woke up at 0915 today because there's Physics class at 1030, if not it's impossible for me to wake up that early.

Went to school with somehow an empty mind. Reached school, Belinda kinda confronted me, asking why hadn't I reply to her text and tweet. Saw someone in the canteen with a similar back as Ray, but it turned out to be Paul and I got all tensed up in a second. He's with Amanlia and Amanda, supposedly having a camp meeting. Went over to Amanlia to hand up my camp form and the 30 bucks, tried hard to avoid eye contact with Paul.

At 1030, went up to class together with Bel, Amanlia, LayTeng, YinYing cutting through the foyer. Saw Bridget on the way, my heart felt tingly. Somehow I don't feel comfortable to see the couple in school today. What's more, I saw them separately. Imagine if I were to see them together, I think I can die right on the spot.

After class, Bel went to LotOne with ShiMin&Co, I went home alone. Lonelygirl96 you can say.

A few days back, you said you already known from the start that I no longer treat you as my best friend anymore. To tell the truth, I didn't expect you to have seen my tweet. One side of me was glad, that I'm actually starting to create a distance between you and me, on the other hand I was sorry to have you feel that you're about to lose a best friend. I have reasons for giving you cold replies, giving you hot and cold treatment. I'm starting to treat you coldly, is because I'm learning to realise where I actually stand. I cannot give you the same treatment and concern as before anymore. You apologised for neglecting me, your best friend. Please don't ever apologise again. You haven't done anything wrong, I was the one who took everything for granted.

Anyway, thank you for being in my life. Although the memories you've given me may not be flawless and happy but they were precious. A best friend is not something easy to get, and many people do not even have one in their entire lives. God made me survive in this god damned situation where I was not allowed to have a blissful family, but at least He was fair. He gave me a fucking good friend named Paul, where our friendship is much envied by others.

boreddieme

fucking bored at home. texting with best friend, but he's talking in his own alien language which I don't understand, forget it la.

Sian la, nobody free to come out. Or rather, no one that I asked has the plans to come out slack. Hais, me life so pathetic.

I guess I was wrong all along.

I need to become a lesbian to continue being best friends with you.

So.. I was wrong all along. I really feel fucking sore to be replaced, until now. I'm not sure whether that's the truth, but yeah. You told me that so I'll just believe what you said. But seriously, you didn't continue the convo, I felt sore. I was happy when I sat beside you just now, LOL. Okay I may sound like a pedo but that's the truth. :/

But on the other hand, I think I don't like you too. I can't be such a bloody bitch to like someone who already has a girlfr and yet like I someone else at the same time right? Like seriously, unacceptable of myself!

Anyway, its either I 吃回头草 or I'm just temporarily confused by all these.

P.S. I think I still remembered what happened 2 years ago.

You won't talk to your ex about your current one, and vice versa.